A Hard Look at Hard Eight—Stephanie Fights Back
by Proudofyoubabe
Summary: What happens when Stephanie doesn't do the expected and go back to Joe? And what if someone were recording the whole thing :
1. Chapter 1

_Margaret and I had some thoughts on a little ditty that takes place as an alternative ending to _Hard Eight_._

Chapter One

Ranger had sent Hector over to install a sensor in my doorjamb so that my door could be opened remotely with a small keypad. This was a safety feature Ranger insisted upon to keep 'rabbits' and dead men out.

Hector with the gang slogan on his neck and teardrop tattoo under his eye scared the shit out of me…almost as much as seeing Ranger again after our unbelievable night of debauchery last night.

I knew I couldn't keep away from Ranger forever. There was too much of a connection there, so when Ranger called to say he'd be over in five minutes to show me how to work the fob, I freaked.

I knew we had to talk. I'm not the kind of girl who just jumps into bed with men and walks away.

Hector was making some final adjustments to my door when Ranger arrived. Ranger walked in and over to me. It was now or never. I grabbed him by the shirt before he could get away again.

"I can't do this, this is my life not a television show. This isn't going to work," I said with a sigh.

"I know Babe. You need to repair your relationship with Morelli. I can't be what you need."

"God damn it Ranger. How the hell do you know what I need? You have no idea what I want or need in my life, and you certainly didn't bother to ask me. Making assumptions that I want to repair my relationship with Morelli is just wrong," I said emphatically, the look of distaste probably evident on my face.

I noticed Hector enjoying the show. His English was better than everyone gave him credit for and he knew what was going on. He took out his iPhone and started recording video. I think the effect I was having on the big bad Rangeman was too priceless for the moment go unrecorded.

I was getting more and more wound up and continued my rant, not letting go of Ranger's shirt. "Yes you're my best friend but I want more. I want you in my life. Can't you see it? Can't you see that I'm in love with you Ranger? I don't need a ring or a white picket fence as symbols of a relationship that we already have. I just want you. My relationship with Morelli is over and you know why? Because I told him that I love _you_."

Ranger looked stunned for a moment, but suddenly he swept me up in his arms and crushed his mouth to mine. "Babe."

Mrs. Bestler must have heard my rants when the elevator opened on two because when I turned around she was standing next to Hector with her iPhone aimed at us as well. I felt like we were putting on a sideshow, but I didn't care. Ranger was freely kissing me after I made my little speech. He hadn't said anything yet, but he was kissing me. And God can he kiss.

When we broke from the kiss Ranger started to speak, "If you won't go back with Morelli, will you stay with me until we find out what's going on and get Abruzzi off your back?"

Would I? Of course I would, but I needed to know there was going to be more to this than just me staying with him and screwing around while some bad guys were on the loose. Anyway, there'd always be bad guys on the loose.

"Do you want to take me to the Batcave?"

"I want to take you to my apartment at Rangeman. I can keep you safe there. "

"So that's not the Batcave?"

"Babe."

"And after we get Abruzzi off my back, what happens then?"

"Well maybe you could just stay."

"Are you saying you want me in your life?"

"Babe, I don't know what I'm saying because I've never been in this predicament before. My life has never lent itself to relationships, but I don't want to lose you. I thought sending you back to Morelli would keep you safe and I'd still be able to see you. Perhaps kiss you. Perhaps there would be something else. I'm very attracted to you. Dios, this is different for me."

Hector and Mrs. Bestler were still recording. Mr. Markowitz had joined the party and was talking on his cell phone. I heard him say "Edna" and knew my grandmother was now privy to everything that was going on. Since his hearing isn't the best his phone was on speaker, as loud as it would go and I heard my grandmother talking.

"Get the video, I want to post it on my Facebook page."

God, what was I getting myself into? Mrs. Bestler, Mr. Markowitz and my grandmother would be spreading this news all around the 'Burg and Hector all around Rangeman. What's a girl to do?

When nothing popped into my head in answer to that question, there was only one thing left to do. I was still in Ranger's arms, so I leaned in and kissed him again.


	2. Chapter 2

_Margaret and I had some thoughts on a little ditty that takes place as an alternative ending to _Hard Eight_._

_We thank you for all your fabulous reviews. We hope you enjoy our second chapter._

_:) M rating_

_JE owns the characters, we're just playing._

Chapter two

Nothing gets past Ranger, so I knew he saw the video and sound crew in my doorway. I was in his arms so he walked with me over to the front door and gently closed it on my Peeping Toms…but not before Hector and Mrs. Bestler zoomed in on his hand on my ass.

He kissed me again as he walked with me to my bedroom.

"I don't know what to do with you Babe," he said, laying me down on my bed and getting in next to me.

He was laying on his side, propped on his elbow, one hand holding up his head. He was just looking at me.

"You could try making love to me," I answered boldly, reflecting on the activities of last night, which were very fond memories.

"I wouldn't have to try," he whispered. "I enjoyed last night very much."

"So did I. I'm game for a repeat performance."

"Babe, I'm not a one trick pony. I wouldn't have to give you a repeat performance. And I got a very good idea about what you like. Come here."

Uh oh, what was I getting myself into? I was baiting Batman.

When I didn't come to him quick enough, he reached out and pulled me to him. He kissed me with a lot of intent and inserted his leg between mine. I could feel the effect I was having on him and God he felt good.

Pretty soon my top was gone. I wanted to feel his perfect chest against mine, so I reached over to remove his shirt. While I was reaching he undid my bra. I still hadn't gotten his shirt off, but I was now naked from the waist up and the sun was streaming into my bedroom window so Ranger could see all my imperfections. My 34B chest and the little roll I had above my jeans. He was gazing at me like I was a Jean Harlow pinup, so I guessed he liked what he saw.

He removed his shirt and his cargos. God he was even bigger than I remembered last night. Did that really fit in me?

Next thing I knew he wrangled my jeans off, but he left my thong on.

"Babe, you are so beautiful," he said, taking me in with his eyes. "Dios, I want to fuck you. And then I want to take you home."

He didn't say another word. He didn't have to, his very talented hands and mouth did all the talking. And God, he was right. He certainly knew what I liked. His lips and tongue on my neck. His hands on my breast. His mouth on my breast. His tongue in my navel and oh my God, his tongue under my panties which were now ruined anyway.

God I wanted him.

"Ranger, now," I said.

"Mmmm. Good things come to those who wait. Take it slow Babe. Let me love you."

He continued his assault on my body. His mouth was on my inner thigh, licking it up to my crotch, and then moving on to the other side. He was driving me crazy. Suddenly my panties were gone and Ranger's tongue replaced them. God he was good.

And then he was inside me and oh my God. I grabbed his ass to bring him in as tight as I could. I was going to have a Ranger-induced orgasm, and I was going to have it now.

But I didn't need to worry about getting Ranger in the right position. Ranger instinctively knew what the right position for me was and I felt him hitting my happy spot as he thrust into me. And oh my God, I was going to come.

''O-o-o-o-h-h Ranger."

He pumped into me again and I came again. He then rolled me on top to let me take the lead, and God, I came one more time. He was a wicked, wonderful sex machine. And he was right; he just ruined me for all other men.

I wanted him to know that I was no prude and I enjoyed doing things to him as much as he enjoyed doing them to me. I noticed he was still hard when he pulled out of me, so I took him in my mouth and gave him a taste of his own medicine. And God he tasted good. I could very easily get addicted to this man.

Next thing I knew he was in me again. We fit together perfectly and made slow sweet love. Oh my God. When I came I felt the heavens enter me and Ranger came right along with me.

When we could finally breathe again, I looked over at Ranger.

"What was that?"

"You wanted to make love Babe."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three

I knew Grandma had been playing around with iMovie, but I didn't think she really knew how to use it and I was surprised when I got this text from Lula:

UR granny made a movie of U and RNGR. It's on her FB page. Check it out: media/set/?set=a.59551887882.65672.725538862&type=3&l=5ba936d88a

I clicked on her link and up came the video Mrs. Bestler shot the other day. Only it wasn't EXACTLY the video she shot. And where did my grandmother get that porn from?

Then I heard the audio that was over the porn, it was my voice: "Can't you see that I'm in love with you Ranger? I don't need a ring or a white picket fence as symbols of a relationship that we already have. I just want you. My relationship with Morelli is over and you know why? Because I told him that I love _you_."

Oh my God, my grandmother was re-creating a Spanish soap opera, and posting it on Facebook.

My phone buzzed, it was another text from Lula:

CHK OUT her Tweet: See the hot Cuban sex machine in action…and a link.

Oh no, I was afraid to look, but I had to, so I clicked. Was this the same video? No this one was racier and again my voice was over the porn: "God damn it Ranger. How the hell do you know what I need? You have no idea what I want or need in my life, and you certainly didn't bother to ask me. Making assumptions that I want to repair my relationship with Morelli is just wrong,"

Oh my God, grandma, what have you done?

Then another text from Lula:

Granny just posted to You Tube. And she gave me the link.

I had to see it, after all it was me—well not _me_ exactly, but it was my voice over some soft porn. I clicked on the link and there were three of them. Three grandma videos.

The 'I love you' video, the 'How do you know what I need' video and a third with both of our voices over a particularly heavy sex scene: "If you won't go back with Morelli, will you stay with me until we find out what's going on?"

"Are you taking me to the Batcave?"

"I want to take you to my apartment. I can keep you safe there. "

"And after we get (garbled) off my back, what happens then?"

"Well maybe you could just stay."

"Are you saying you want me in your life?"

"Babe, I don't know what I'm saying because I've never been in this predicament before. My life has never lent itself to relationships, but I don't want to lose you. I thought sending you back to Morelli would keep you safe and I'd still be able to see you. Perhaps kiss you. Perhaps there would be something else. I'm very attracted to you. Dios, this is different for me."

Oh my God, the whole thing was up on You Tube. And I was worried about the 'Burg finding out about Ranger and me? Now the whole world could see us, up close and a little too personal for my taste. And who was that big-breasted blonde? And oh my God that guy had a big one.

Suddenly my phone started to ring. It was the 'Ding dong the witch is dead theme from the Wizard of Oz', I only gave that song to one person, Joe Morelli's grandma Bella. Don't tell me Bella is on Facebook too, or worse, she found the You Tube videos. I answered the phone.

"I know what you do with big Cuban man. You make nickie nookie. You slut. Putana. My Joey no good enough for you, you need big porn star? Phat." And she spat into the phone and hung up.

My phone rang again, this time it was Joe.

"Cupcake, what is your grandmother up to, and how did she get you and Manoso's voices?"

Lucky it was only our voices; well at least for now.

"Uh, I don't think you want to know. Mrs. Bestler was shooting a video. "

"With you and Manoso?"

"Well not exactly, that wasn't me."

"Cupcake, I know your voice better than I know my own, and my name was mentioned. What the hell is going on?"

"I don't know. Listen Joe, I gotta go."

I quickly called Ranger. I was staying at his apartment but he was out chasing down bad guys with Tank.

"Ranger, where are you?"

"Where at O'Malley's bar. Our FTA just was spotted inside."

"Are you going to be home soon? I want you to see something."

"What is it Babe?"

"Remember the videos Mrs. Bestler and Hector were shooting?"

"Yes?"

"Well my grandmother doctored them up. You and I, well not _exactly_ you and I, have gone viral."

"I'll be home in an hour."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I was almost afraid for my grandmother's life, Ranger had threatened in jest to kill her once before. But he really needed to see what she posted.

Suddenly I was hungry, so I grabbed my fob and my phone and went down to five to see if Ella had left any goodies in the break room. Ranger said I could just call her on intercom and she'd make me anything, but I was feeling like a Tastykake Butterscotch Krimpet and I knew I couldn't ask for that.

When I opened the door to the break room, I heard my own voice. Huh? What was that all about? Then I saw Lester with Ram and Junior intently watching the 55" screen and laughing. Don't tell me they found grandma's You Tube disasters too?

Les turned around and saw me standing there.

"Beautiful, this is priceless. I've never seen Ranger squirm like this before."

I realized they were watching Hector's video not grandmas. I didn't know which was worse, me with big boobs and blonde hair or the real me.

"Lester, where did you get that?" I yelled, ready to kill Hector.

"I found your grandmother's videos on You Tube."

"These are not my grandmother's videos, she had me half-naked with big boobs, this is the original. Did you get this from Hector?" I asked, getting madder and madder at Hector by the second.

"Calm down beautiful. Your grandmother just superimposed one video over another. When I stripped out the porn, this was underneath. Anyone could do this."

"Shit Lester, you're telling me the whole world could see our confessions to one another?"

"If they know how to strip out the video, then yes."

Oh God, this was bad.

Suddenly my phone started to ring. It was the 'Jaws' theme, so I knew it was my mother. Oh shit. I thought about not answering, but I knew she would just keep calling me back until she got through to me.

'Hi mom," I said opening my phone to the inevitable.

"Stephanie, what is this I hear about you and that Ranger guy naked on TV?"

"You Tube mom. And that isn't us, it's just our voices."

"Stephanie, you've embarrassed me again, what will the neighbors think? My daughter frolicking around with a porn star. It'll be all over the tabloids. The Star, the Examiner, the Globe. Oh my God, what will everyone think? They'll think you're a porn star too. My life is over. Ruined."

"Mom, Ranger isn't a porn star, he's a business owner." But he _would_ make a great porn star. "Grandma spliced some videos together. She was just playing."

"Stephanie, everyone knows it's you. My phone has been ringing off the hook. Angie Morelli called me. You told Joe you love this Ranger-man guy?"

Time to come clean. I had an audience of Lester, Junior, Ram and my mother. Time to 'fess up.

"Yes mom. I love Ranger and I'm pretty sure he feels something," maybe, "for me."

"What about Joseph? I thought you two were going to the altar one day?"

"Mom, Joe and I were going nowhere."

"And you and this Ranger guy are headed somewhere?"

"I don't know mom. Listen. I gotta go. I'm working," I lied.

"Stephanie, bring him over for a nice pot roast on Sunday. Your father and I want to meet him again."

"I don't know. I think I'm working."

"On a Sunday?"

"Bad guys never take a day off. I gotta go. Bye."

I looked up to see Lester, Ram and Junior smiling at me.

"So Beautiful, you really love Ranger?"

"Lester, you of all people know how I feel. Yes, I love Ranger. God, could this get any more embarrassing?"

"We liked watching him squirm," Lester continued. "'Babe, I don't know what I'm saying because I've never been in this predicament before. My life has never lent itself to relationships, but I don't want to lose you. I thought sending you back to Morelli would keep you safe and I'd still be able to see you. Maybe I could kiss you. Maybe there would be something else. I'm so attracted to you. Dios, this is different for me,'" he almost directly quoted.

While Lester was going off on his soliloquy, my phone started playing the 'Batman' theme. Ranger.

I answered, "Yo."

"Stealing my line Babe? Where are you?"

"I'm in the break room with Les and Ram and Junior. They found Grandmas videos too. Only it gets worse."

"I'm upstairs. I'll be right down. Don't move."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Shit, shit and double shit. Ranger was going to blow a gasket. I saw Lester and Ram and Junior start to make their way to the door.

"Oh no you don't. You're just as responsible for this as I am. Lester you're the one who figured out how to get the real footage. We need to show all of this to Ranger. Let's hope he doesn't try to take me to the mats in the morning."

"Beautiful, if Ranger takes you to the mats, it wouldn't be for hand-to-hand combat. Hey, maybe I'll be the one shooting _that_ video. Joy."

"Lester!"

The doors to the break room swung open and Ranger stepped in. He was wearing his blank face so I had no idea what he was thinking.

"Babe. _What_ is going on?"

"My grandmother posted a video of us on You Tube, her Facebook page and on Twitter. Only it wasn't us. Here, let me show you."

I took the remote from Lester and brought up You Tube on the 55" screen. I found my grandmother's submissions and clicked on the first and 'safest' one, the 'I love you' video.

When Ranger saw the porn superimposed over my voice, he let out a huge belly laugh.

"This is wonderful. Your grandmother is something else."

"Uh, before you get too happy, there are two more. And that's not the worst."

I showed Ranger the second one and he chuckled again. Then I went for it and showed him the third. The porn star with the biggest salami I'd ever seen, my humongous boobs and Ranger's confession. He wasn't laughing, but he didn't look angry.

"And what else do you have for me?" he asked.

"Lester, show Ranger what you showed me."

"Stephanie's grandmother just laid the porn video over the one Steph's neighbor shot. I was able to separate the two and this is what we have." Lester played the 3rd and potentially most embarrassing video for Ranger.

I was watching his face. I really hoped he wouldn't lose it. After the video was over he took a deep breath and spoke.

"Not everyone can do what Lester just did. We do this sort of thing all the time when we check surveillance tapes to make sure they are legit. Your average person wouldn't know how to do that. And only people who know Steph's voice, or my voice would be able to make the leap. Your grandmother was smart enough to scratch out Abruzzi's name and Morelli is not an uncommon Italian name. I'm not worried. I think it's kind of humorous."

My mother was ironing and probably tippling. Angie Morelli was calling the 'Burg. Bella was putting death spells on me and Ranger thought this was humorous? I'd never be able to figure him out.

"Babe, want to come upstairs with me? I want to talk to you about a few things?'

Uh oh. "Sure."

Lester caught my eye and he winked at me.

I took the stairs with Ranger, because Ranger _never_ takes the elevator up just two flights. He fobbed us in, threw his keys in the dish and dropped his utility belt on the counter. I guessed I made my way to the nearest wall, expecting the worst.

"Babe, what's the matter?" Ranger asked, seeing me practically cowering.

"You're not mad?"

"Do I look mad?"

"No, but you don't look happy."

"Babe, what's done is done. There's nothing I can do to change that. We just have to accept it…and it has some benefits."

"Benefits? Like what?"

"Now everyone knows you love me and that I want you in my life. Dios, I've told you before that I love you."

"In jest, Ranger. It was always an 'I love you but…'"

He pounced. In two seconds he was on me and had me pulled to him. His lips brushed mine. And then he intensified the kiss. It was a kiss reminiscent of the other night. The night we 'made love'.

"Babe. I love you," he said when we broke apart. "No buts this time."

"Well maybe just one," he said, grabbing my ass.


End file.
